Willesden Herald 2008 and the Energy of Delusion

this has to be the most painful rejection letter i've ever read.

it's one thing to be judged wanting against writing that is obviously superior, or even against writing that isn't. Ms Smith's way, there's simply no way to rationalize, to rework your inadequacy into something even remotely conciliatory; no compromise can be made with yourself to inject even a modicum of consolation for your ego, your sense of self-worth; bereft of all the defense mechanisms you've grown accustomed to employing against such assaults on your self-esteem, you are left exposed, naked against the raw force of the truth: you've been contributing to mediocrity all along.

when did i start operating on the energy of delusion? i want the old me back, the hack from two and a half years ago who only wanted to join the fun, who only wanted an excuse to play with the one skill he had any confidence in having.

anyway, and i say this without irony, hooray Willesden Herald for showing such integrity. not something we seem to be seeing much of these days.

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i've just heard a rumor concerning Zobel's beloved Brother Felix. i'll wait for confirmation before i say any more, but if there's anyone out there who thinks they have the kind of information i'm looking for, please do drop a line.

if you're from Zobel, you'll likely know what i'm talking about.

(thanks to Mendozaria for the news.)

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this, just in from E.Cross Saltire, lends credence to the rumor:

Last week, Br. Felix started getting very weak and could not get out of bed. His vital signs started to fail; he stopped drinking milk and water and slept for most of the week. He has been under constant care for almost two weeks now and has not left his room even in his wheel chair. He received the Sacrament of Anointing and Viaticum. However, his condition improved and his vital signs are back to normal. He has begun to take nourishment again although he is still weak and not speaking. His cancer wound on the lower lip has not healed and morphine is administered to him every two hours. According to Br. Ronald, “he is an amazing person, he has never
complained about, has always been cheerful and always says thank you”.

Let us keep Br. Felix in our prayers

(from here: http://www.zobel.dlsu.edu.ph/reflections/2008_-_03_(4_February_2008).pdf)

Brother Felix retired to Napa in November 2006.